Are you tired of people reading what you write for your company’s website? Maybe your successful readership boosts site traffic so much it leaves you longing for the nice, boring life of a slow business and little or no work to do. If there are too many pesky subscribers following your blog or your e-newsletter, here are some surefire ways to make them stop. Follow these tips and they will most likely go away and not come back. This will leave you more time for quality leisure activities, like job hunting and watching daytime television.
1. Talk about yourself. A lot. You know you’re amazing. Make sure everyone else does, too.
2. Be a copycat. Find a trending topic that everyone else is writing about and jump on the bandwagon as often as possible. No need to be creative, just say the same thing the others did. Less work for you leaves more time for fun.
3. Be rude and offensive at every opportunity. Make harsh attacks on people you know. Baseless ones are better. That readership will drop like a rock.
4. Write confusing headlines. Be sure they have no reflection whatsoever on the article topic. Keep people guessing.
5. Don’t worry about spelling and punctuation. Who needs it? Your readers will know what you meant anyway. If they don’t like it, they can go somewhere else.
6. Share all of your information on every topic. Don’t leave out any details, no matter how ultra basic, boring and unimaginative they are. Just ramble away and dare people to hang on to your every word.
7. If all else fails and those pesky subscribers are still reading your blog or e-newsletters, just stop doing it on a regular basis or drop it entirely. They will get tired of looking for fresh content and find someone else to bother.
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