Do you watch your pay-per-click campaign like a hawk? Are you losing sleep over it? Are you obsessed by the amount of time and money you are spending on it? If it’s sending you to the funny farm, maybe you need to relax a little. If you wish it would just go away instead of dealing with the stress headaches, here are 12 sure-fire ways to make it fail.
1. Only target one keyword at a time. It’s easier to keep track of that way.
2. If your ads don’t work in a few days, pull them. Patience is for sissies.
3. Don’t use initial caps in your ads. It’s not grammatically correct.
4. Only run your pay-per-click ads at the cheapest time of day. Since it costs less, you can spend your money on other things.
5. Don’t look at Google Analytics. It will depress you.
6. Format your ads in lower case. They’ll look like text messages, and that’s all the rage.
7. Don’t test your ads based on performance. You might make them nervous.
8. Always go for the broad term keywords. Who needs details? They’ll make you crazy.
9. If you can rank at the top of the search engines for something, anything, go for it. It’s always best to be #1.
10. Don’t use your keywords in a display URL. People already know what they’re searching for, so they don’t need to see it again.
11. Stick with localized keywords only. You don’t need anyone’s business if they’re not from around here, anyway.
12. Stop worrying about advertising. The fewer customers you have, the less you’ll be bothered by them in the future. This will leave more time to keep up with your favorite TV shows and you’ll even get to sleep in in the morning.
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