Step Into My Office…Because You’re Friggin’ Fired

Everyone has feared it at some point or another in their lives. That sudden icy tone your boss takes that sends chills down your spine. It’s the words no one ever wants to hear…”Step into my office…” doesn’t usually bode well for most employees; and that slow walk down the cubicle aisle has left many wondering…”what now..? Is this it? Pink slip time…” And in today’s economy it’s even scarier to think about the chance of getting fired. But of all the constant things were worry over that might drive us down to the back of the unemployment line, your online life isn’t usually one of them.

But it SHOULD be. I am constantly chuckling to myself as I find more and more stories about people getting fired, dumped, and yes…even EVICTED because of their activities on social media sites. So, for all you social media addicts out there, (you’re in good company, as I am also addicted…) this is a friendly reminder to PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

Tim Chambers

Image By: Tim Chambers

The 3 Best Ways to Use Social Media to Get Fired:

-Tweet About How Much You Hate Your Job. This is a sure fire way to piss off your higher-ups and make sure you get “let go”. You would be shocked how many people are learning how to use facebook, myspace, and twitter to look up and monitor their employees. So, be smart people. If you put it online, it’s public. Telling the world why you hate your job in 140 characters or less is a recipe for that walk of shame to the bosses office. Although sometimes, this can happen before you even start working. Take for example the Cisco case. Twitter user @theconnor (whose tweets are now private..go figure) said this:

Theconnor: “Cisco just offered me a job! Now I have to weigh the utility of a fatty paycheck against the daily commute to San Jose and hating the work.”

Promptly after the tweet heard ‘round the world, Tim Levad of Cisco replied with:

TimLevad: “Who is the hiring manager [?] I’m sure they would love to know that you will hate the work. We here at Cisco are versed in the web.”

Buzz Bishops

Image by: Buzz Bishops

Needless to say, theconnor didn’t get the job with Cisco. Yeeeah.

-Post Videos of You Doing Stupid or Illegal Things At Work: It seems like a no-brainer…practically because it is. This technique is a double whammy for those of you out there aiming to not only get fired, but arrested as well. It seems like a little harmless fun…but when you mix stupidity, a video camera, and your job you get a little something like this:

Gross! But seriously folks, your boss and your local police department (or health inspector for that matter) are not as stupid as you’d like to think. So the chance of them finding your little video stunt is highly likely. The chance of them finding the humor in it is slim to none. So think before your film, and REALLY think before you upload to youtube.

-Call Your Employer Retarded When You Update Your Facebook: When all else fails on your quest to unemployment, there is always the sure-fire obvious approach. Call your boss retarded. Just like Philadelphia Eagles employee Dan Leone did recently.

http://news.cnet.com/8301-17852_3-10192227-71.html?tag=mncol;txt

Leone updated his facebook status to read “Dan is ******* devastated about Dawkins signing with Denver…Dam Eagles are Retarded.”

Chris Daniels

Image by: Chris Daniels

Epic Fail. The Eagles decided to go ahead and let him go as a result. Maybe not the smartest move, but hey, the internet brings out the “dumb” in all of us. Remember that most people these days are web savvy, so if you decide to play hookie, using facebook to upload pictures of yourself out having fun instead of being at work is a great way to get that pink slip.

Hopefully these little tips can help you seal the deal in losing the job of your dreams. The thing to take away is that social media is a great way to brand yourself and your company, but do so with caution. Always maintain your integrity, or be doomed to the unemployment line.

  • Lindsay

    Great blog!

    A few years ago, I actually found the (not private) MySpace profile of the guy who handled my 401K, whose default image was of him giving a drunken double bird…

  • Erin

    Yikes! Yeah I used to work for Taco Bell while I was in highschool. And let me just tell you if that Dominos Video turned your stomach…you MIGHT want to go out of your way to be super nice to the drive-thru employees at Taco Bell…or just avoid going south of the border altogether. Very much NOT cool some of the things that went down there. Ick.

    But in all seriousness, social media is dangerous if you don’t use your best judgment. Don’t do anything online you wouldn’t do in the break room at work. That includes spitting in food, and calling your boss an R-TARD. Just sayin….

  • http://contexts.org/thickculture/ Kenneth K.

    The Domino’s video reminds me of Fight Club, where the narrator (Norton) asks the waiter for “clean food,” who, in turn, recommends not getting the clam chowder.

    I blogged on the Cisco Fatty débâcle, which is a nuanced story. I also think Tim needed to reign in his opinions, as an affiliate of Cisco. His decision to delete the Tweet that called out theconnor is telling.

  • Erin

    Kenneth,

    I totally agree with you on the Cisco Fatty issue. Tim had no real business stepping in like he did…but he DID step in. And the thing with being active socially is knowing that even when higher ups choose not to jump in and call you out publicly…they may still be watching. Not to get all big brother here, but privacy on the internet is kind of an illusion, ESPECIALLY with social media. So it’s smart to know your privacy settings and use them if you choose to vent less than popular opinions online.

    Great blog btw! Thanks for sharing the link with us!